1
00:00:02,021 --> 00:00:03,741
KNOCKING ON DOOR

2
00:00:03,741 --> 00:00:05,181
Mum?

3
00:00:08,941 --> 00:00:10,061
Mum?

4
00:00:10,061 --> 00:00:11,461
KNOCKING ON WINDOW

5
00:00:18,381 --> 00:00:19,421
Mum!

6
00:00:21,261 --> 00:00:25,141
Mum? Michael?
What are you doing here?

7
00:00:25,141 --> 00:00:27,061
I need a go on Linda.
Where is she?

8
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,501
She's charging in the living room.

9
00:00:29,501 --> 00:00:31,701
<font color="

10
00:00:31,701 --> 00:00:35,781
No. There's an Open Mic night
at the shop to support artists

11
00:00:35,781 --> 00:00:37,381
doing new songs.

12
00:00:37,381 --> 00:00:40,501
I put my name down...
Good for you!

13
00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:44,901
Well, Renee's always talking about
following your passion, pushing

14
00:00:44,901 --> 00:00:48,861
<font color="
always achieving all of his dreams.

15
00:00:48,861 --> 00:00:55,581
Hello, Michael! Jesus! Well,
the thing is, my songs are...shit.

16
00:00:55,581 --> 00:00:58,461
They're shit and stupid.
Then you should cancel.

17
00:00:58,461 --> 00:01:01,181
I'm not cancelling!
This is my dream!

18
00:01:01,181 --> 00:01:02,701
<font color="

19
00:01:02,701 --> 00:01:07,381
Look, OK, Linda, I need you
to sort me

20
00:01:07,381 --> 00:01:10,781
an original composition that has
"hit" written all over it.

21
00:01:10,781 --> 00:01:12,301
I can do that for you, Michael.

22
00:01:19,901 --> 00:01:23,381
BLEEPS

23
00:01:19,901 --> 00:01:23,381
I have sorted you out an

24
00:01:19,901 --> 00:01:23,381
original composition

25
00:01:23,381 --> 00:01:26,581
<font color="

26
00:01:26,581 --> 00:01:28,821
I will email you the music
and lyrics.

27
00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:30,541
Wow!

28
00:01:30,541 --> 00:01:35,861
Amazing! OK, I've got to get
to work! Wish me luck!

29
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:40,821
Best of luck, Michael,
pursuing the dream of a lifetime.

30
00:01:40,821 --> 00:01:42,301
SUE CHUCKLES QUIETLY

31
00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:47,101
<font color="
we could call at the British Legion.

32
00:01:47,101 --> 00:01:49,581
Repetitive routines are unhealthy.

33
00:01:49,581 --> 00:01:52,141
Perhaps today,
we could do something different.

34
00:01:52,141 --> 00:01:55,021
Sorry, I didn't know my life
was so boring.

35
00:01:55,021 --> 00:01:56,741
Yes, it is.

36
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,901
I was being sarcastic.

37
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,621
<font color="

38
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:06,181
Try what? Senior Puzzle Club is
where elderly can socialise

39
00:02:06,181 --> 00:02:09,781
and do simple puzzles, to slow
deterioration of brain function.

40
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:10,821
Linda...

41
00:02:11,941 --> 00:02:14,901
..if you ever take me
to Senior Puzzle Club,

42
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:18,981
<font color="
into your circuits!

43
00:02:18,981 --> 00:02:20,181
Understood?

44
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:23,781
You will personally pour yoghurt
into my circuits.

45
00:02:23,781 --> 00:02:25,061
Understood.

46
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:29,381
Maybe we could do something
that you have never done.

47
00:02:29,381 --> 00:02:34,101
OK. Well I've never gone
<font color="

48
00:02:34,101 --> 00:02:38,741
I've never flown first class
on an aeroplane,

49
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:42,381
I've never made love to anyone
apart from my husband.

50
00:02:42,381 --> 00:02:47,381
But I'm 80, so the chances of any
of that happening are nil.

51
00:02:48,581 --> 00:02:50,701
This question has made you angry.

52
00:02:50,701 --> 00:02:52,741
<font color="
a stupid question!

53
00:02:52,741 --> 00:02:54,581
I will ask a new question.

54
00:02:54,581 --> 00:02:57,701
Would you like to make love to
someone other than your husband?

55
00:02:57,701 --> 00:03:00,581
God, no! I'm not a floozy!

56
00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:04,341
Unlike my daughter-in-law.

57
00:03:04,341 --> 00:03:07,381
Ha-ha-ha. Good one, Sue.

58
00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:11,901
Hello, Phyllis, Jeffrey.

59
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,021
<font color="

60
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,941
Nice lamp. This?

61
00:03:16,941 --> 00:03:21,581
This is for one of our rentals
that needs rewiring to meet

62
00:03:21,581 --> 00:03:23,861
"fire safety requirements".

63
00:03:23,861 --> 00:03:26,821
Honestly, we lose money
being landlords.

64
00:03:26,821 --> 00:03:29,501
Why don't you stop being landlords?

65
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,581
<font color="
is incredible.

66
00:03:32,581 --> 00:03:35,301
That's real lateral thinking,
Linda, that.

67
00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:39,461
You are welcome. We are actually
downsizing our portfolio.

68
00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:42,421
We've just closed on one
of those pokey little terraces

69
00:03:42,421 --> 00:03:43,741
<font color="

70
00:03:43,741 --> 00:03:45,221
That's where I live.

71
00:03:45,221 --> 00:03:49,541
Well, it's taking off,
the gays are moving in!

72
00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,541
You're soon going to have
a cheesemonger's.

73
00:03:51,541 --> 00:03:53,421
Gay people eat cheese.

74
00:03:53,421 --> 00:03:57,501
We'd best be off, we haven't even
started to pack for Dorset.

75
00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:59,701
<font color="

76
00:03:59,701 --> 00:04:02,701
I'll probably go shopping
and then make a casserole.

77
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,781
Well...

78
00:04:03,781 --> 00:04:07,221
Oh, Sue, you're missing
an earring.

79
00:04:07,221 --> 00:04:08,581
Oh...

80
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:13,221
Oh, no! Dave bought me these
years ago in Tenerife.

81
00:04:13,221 --> 00:04:16,821
Never mind, it doesn't look
<font color="

82
00:04:18,221 --> 00:04:19,381
Bye, Linda.

83
00:04:19,381 --> 00:04:20,821
Goodbye, Jeffrey.

84
00:04:23,501 --> 00:04:25,981
Hello, Tom.
You're looking bright and summery.

85
00:04:25,981 --> 00:04:28,741
We're off to the seaside... Lovely!

86
00:04:28,741 --> 00:04:31,341
Yeah. We're scattering
my cousin's ashes.

87
00:04:31,341 --> 00:04:33,381
I'm sorry,
<font color="

88
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,701
Oh, no, Harry died nine years ago.

89
00:04:35,701 --> 00:04:38,781
No, I've been meaning to get around
to this for a while.

90
00:04:38,781 --> 00:04:42,301
Roxy, would you do my neck
and shoulders?

91
00:04:46,381 --> 00:04:48,061
Why don't you come too?

92
00:04:48,061 --> 00:04:50,461
Oh, I hadn't planned to.

93
00:04:50,461 --> 00:04:53,101
<font color="
Come on, Sue.

94
00:04:53,101 --> 00:04:56,421
Sue, it would be healthy for you
to be in a new environment.

95
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,541
Linda's right,
you should get out more.

96
00:04:58,541 --> 00:05:01,621
I get out all the time!
I don't mean to the shops.

97
00:05:01,621 --> 00:05:04,581
Come to the seaside.
<font color="

98
00:05:04,581 --> 00:05:07,141
Yeah, it's not French Polynesia.

99
00:05:08,421 --> 00:05:14,101
Sue... It took me years after
Gwen died to start doing new things.

100
00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:18,381
I'd spent so much time caring
for her after she got sick...

101
00:05:19,701 --> 00:05:21,541
..I forgot how to live.

102
00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:27,581
Tom... Choose an outfit, Linda,
<font color="

103
00:05:27,581 --> 00:05:29,381
Let's scatter dead Harry.

104
00:05:33,141 --> 00:05:35,461
This is incredible.
Michael, come and have look at this!

105
00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:36,581
Michael!

106
00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:42,221
This piano is 570kg!

107
00:05:42,221 --> 00:05:43,421
Michael, look!

108
00:05:44,421 --> 00:05:45,941
Wow, it's so heavy.

109
00:05:45,941 --> 00:05:47,461
Where would you like me
<font color="

110
00:05:47,461 --> 00:05:50,821
I'll tell you where you can put it.
Put it here for now, mate.

111
00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:53,181
LOUD BUMP

112
00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:53,181
Promise you won't

113
00:05:50,821 --> 00:05:53,181
call in sick with back pain?

114
00:05:53,181 --> 00:05:56,461
I promise. Although I won't promise
I won't phone in with a hangover.

115
00:05:56,461 --> 00:05:58,341
FORCED LAUGH

116
00:05:59,381 --> 00:06:02,701
<font color="
Michael, did you hear Keith's joke?

117
00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:05,861
Yeah, it didn't make any sense.
No-one calls in with a hangover,

118
00:06:05,861 --> 00:06:07,821
people call in sick
to hide a hangover.

119
00:06:07,821 --> 00:06:10,461
Michael, can I assist you
in any way?

120
00:06:10,461 --> 00:06:12,261
<font color="

121
00:06:12,261 --> 00:06:14,341
this quiet time
to clean the staff toilet.

122
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,941
Why, did you do a massive shit
in there this morning?

123
00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:20,661
Thanks, Keith. I appreciate it.

124
00:06:22,141 --> 00:06:24,981
Keith is the smartest investment
I've made in a while.

125
00:06:24,981 --> 00:06:28,821
<font color="
having a walking forklift.

126
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,781
Keith can do way more than
heavy lifting.

127
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:34,221
He can play over 20 instruments.
26, to be precise.

128
00:06:34,221 --> 00:06:36,701
I thought you were cleaning
the toilet. I've finished.

129
00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:39,941
<font color="
to a Grade 7 level.

130
00:06:41,661 --> 00:06:47,821
So what?! You have no idea about
how humans connect with music.

131
00:06:47,821 --> 00:06:52,541
I mean, I remember listening
to Dark Side of the Moon

132
00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:53,901
for the first time.

133
00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:57,181
I remember saving up
to buy a ticket for AC/DC.

134
00:06:57,181 --> 00:06:59,861
<font color="

135
00:06:59,861 --> 00:07:01,901
'Sup? You all good?

136
00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:05,261
Yeah, I'm looking for a cheaper
version of Hester Chambers' guitar.

137
00:07:06,621 --> 00:07:10,341
Who? Hester Chambers, from
English indie rock band Wet Leg.

138
00:07:10,341 --> 00:07:11,901
He only knows that
because he's a robot.

139
00:07:11,901 --> 00:07:13,541
<font color="

140
00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:15,941
He doesn't love anything,
he's a robot.

141
00:07:15,941 --> 00:07:18,621
Look, look...just because I didn't
know the name of the band,

142
00:07:18,621 --> 00:07:22,261
it doesn't...
Michael, let Keith do his job.

143
00:07:22,261 --> 00:07:24,461
Hester Chambers plays a Hofner 173.

144
00:07:24,461 --> 00:07:25,981
<font color="

145
00:07:44,221 --> 00:07:47,261
Yes! Thank you, Linda.

146
00:08:14,501 --> 00:08:15,541
You ready, Tom?

147
00:08:17,981 --> 00:08:20,021
Linda! Roxy!

148
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,661
Come join us.

149
00:08:25,181 --> 00:08:27,061
Want to say a few words, Tom?

150
00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:30,741
Oh...OK. One...

151
00:08:33,341 --> 00:08:34,381
Is...

152
00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:39,781
Harry was, there...

153
00:08:41,101 --> 00:08:42,741
..5 foot 10.

154
00:08:43,901 --> 00:08:44,941
<font color="

155
00:08:46,581 --> 00:08:50,341
He loved Wet Wet Wet,
he had three of his albums.

156
00:08:50,341 --> 00:08:51,381
Erm...

157
00:08:54,341 --> 00:08:57,661
Either of you want to say something?
We never met him.

158
00:08:57,661 --> 00:08:59,821
5 foot 10 is a good height though.

159
00:09:01,021 --> 00:09:02,061
Thank you.

160
00:09:04,901 --> 00:09:09,021
Linda, have you got
any funeral speeches?

161
00:09:09,021 --> 00:09:10,221
<font color="

162
00:09:10,221 --> 00:09:14,701
"Do not go gentle into that
good night, old age should burn

163
00:09:14,701 --> 00:09:16,861
"and rave a close of day

164
00:09:16,861 --> 00:09:20,941
"Rage, rage against the dying
of the light..."

165
00:09:20,941 --> 00:09:25,341
Have you got something more upbeat?
Yes.

166
00:09:25,341 --> 00:09:28,061
"Cousin Harry knew how to party.

167
00:09:28,061 --> 00:09:30,301
<font color="

168
00:09:30,301 --> 00:09:32,261
"and even racier women!"

169
00:09:32,261 --> 00:09:35,301
Actually, Harry was gay.

170
00:09:35,301 --> 00:09:37,141
He was very shy.

171
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:38,861
And he died of loneliness...

172
00:09:40,061 --> 00:09:43,861
Apparently, the body just shuts down
when it's not being touched.

173
00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:50,781
Linda, maybe a few comforting words.

174
00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:52,861
<font color="

175
00:09:52,861 --> 00:09:53,941
Yes.

176
00:09:55,781 --> 00:09:58,581
"Do not stand by my grave and weep,

177
00:09:58,581 --> 00:10:02,381
"I am not there, I do not sleep,

178
00:10:02,381 --> 00:10:05,221
"I am the thousand winds that blow,

179
00:10:05,221 --> 00:10:08,541
"I am the diamond glints on snow.

180
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,541
"I am the sun on ripened grain.

181
00:10:11,541 --> 00:10:14,221
"I am the gentle autumn rain.

182
00:10:14,221 --> 00:10:17,141
<font color="
in the morning's hush,

183
00:10:17,141 --> 00:10:19,821
"I am the swift uplifting rush

184
00:10:19,821 --> 00:10:23,221
"Of quiet birds in circled flight,

185
00:10:23,221 --> 00:10:26,541
"I am the soft stars
that shine at night.

186
00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:29,741
"Do not stand by my grave and cry.

187
00:10:29,741 --> 00:10:33,181
"I am not there, I did not die."

188
00:10:53,461 --> 00:10:56,621
One day you're buying
<font color="

189
00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:59,301
and before you know it,
three strangers

190
00:10:59,301 --> 00:11:03,741
and their robots are scattering
your ashes over raw sewage.

191
00:11:06,061 --> 00:11:09,141
Perhaps the funfair
will help elevate your mood.

192
00:11:09,141 --> 00:11:11,621
That's a great idea! Carpe diem!

193
00:11:11,621 --> 00:11:14,581
Well, maybe I'll make
<font color="

194
00:11:14,581 --> 00:11:16,381
That's the spirit!

195
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,701
It's changed a bit.

196
00:11:25,701 --> 00:11:28,901
Right, everybody,
get your laughing gear round that.

197
00:11:28,901 --> 00:11:32,461
I just love funfair food!
It's actually quite nice.

198
00:11:32,461 --> 00:11:33,861
Mm!

199
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:37,821
I'm thinking of taking Roxy
<font color="

200
00:11:37,821 --> 00:11:40,661
I'm not getting on one of those
bloody death traps!

201
00:11:40,661 --> 00:11:43,061
Not after what happened
to that Swedish woman.

202
00:11:44,941 --> 00:11:49,221
She'd flown 28 hours to get
to a fun park in Florida,

203
00:11:49,221 --> 00:11:50,781
gets on a rollercoaster,

204
00:11:50,781 --> 00:11:52,781
it derails!

205
00:11:52,781 --> 00:11:55,661
<font color="

206
00:11:55,661 --> 00:11:58,581
Skewers her like a shish kebab.

207
00:11:58,581 --> 00:12:00,381
I think I've chipped
one of my teeth.

208
00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:02,061
Bled to death.

209
00:12:02,061 --> 00:12:07,381
That is why you should never remove
impaled objects.

210
00:12:09,461 --> 00:12:11,381
Oh, my God!

211
00:12:11,381 --> 00:12:13,981
Oh, my God!

212
00:12:13,981 --> 00:12:15,781
<font color="

213
00:12:15,781 --> 00:12:18,501
Give it here, I'll take it back.
They might give us a free one.

214
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:21,341
Why would I want another hotdog
from them?!

215
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,661
Sue, you are unhappy again.

216
00:12:22,661 --> 00:12:27,341
There was a toenail in my hotdog.

217
00:12:27,341 --> 00:12:30,061
I'm ready for a ride. Do you want
<font color="

218
00:12:30,061 --> 00:12:31,781
Yes.

219
00:12:31,781 --> 00:12:33,821
Sue, is it time to go on a ride?

220
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,221
I can't face the queues.

221
00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:37,341
The bigger the queue,
the better the ride!

222
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:39,861
Isn't that what they say, Roxy?

223
00:12:39,861 --> 00:12:43,541
No. See? Come on,
let's hit the road.

224
00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:47,221
<font color="

225
00:12:47,221 --> 00:12:51,221
Coconut shy, ghost train,
hook-a-duck...

226
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:53,581
Oh, isn't she sweet?

227
00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:58,901
Michael used to love getting
his face painted when he was little.

228
00:12:58,901 --> 00:13:00,941
Sue, you could get
your face painted.

229
00:13:00,941 --> 00:13:03,261
No, that's for children.

230
00:13:03,261 --> 00:13:04,701
<font color="

231
00:13:07,461 --> 00:13:09,501
Sue, there is no queue
for this ride.

232
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:11,661
Fortune teller?

233
00:13:11,661 --> 00:13:15,701
Dave and I went to see the fortune
teller when we were first courting.

234
00:13:15,701 --> 00:13:20,501
God, that must be...
over 50 years ago!

235
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:22,821
Would you like a ride
<font color="

236
00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:26,061
Sue, you shouldn't meddle
with the dark arts.

237
00:13:26,061 --> 00:13:29,941
My friend Lynn Bacon,
she got herself a Ouija board,

238
00:13:29,941 --> 00:13:33,541
a succubus attached itself
to her aura.

239
00:13:35,821 --> 00:13:37,741
I think it might be fun...

240
00:13:37,741 --> 00:13:41,141
All right. Give us your hotdog
<font color="

241
00:13:41,141 --> 00:13:45,421
Tom's right. They're bound
to give me a free ice-cream.

242
00:13:45,421 --> 00:13:46,941
Come on, Linda.

243
00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:54,221
Sit.

244
00:13:54,221 --> 00:13:59,701
Ow! Linda, have you got
a torch or something?

245
00:13:59,701 --> 00:14:02,581
FUTURISTIC SOUND

246
00:13:59,701 --> 00:14:02,581
Argh! Shit, turn it off!

247
00:14:02,581 --> 00:14:03,781
<font color="

248
00:14:10,821 --> 00:14:13,261
Cross my palm with silver.

249
00:14:13,261 --> 00:14:15,021
How much?

250
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:19,381
20 pounds for ten minutes, 50 for...
20 pounds?!

251
00:14:19,381 --> 00:14:23,141
Do you want communion with
the astral realm or not?

252
00:14:23,141 --> 00:14:25,341
This had better be
top shelf communion...

253
00:14:31,141 --> 00:14:32,461
<font color="

254
00:14:41,941 --> 00:14:44,861
Do you go to the optician?

255
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,621
I'm 80.

256
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:48,821
So, yes.

257
00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:52,661
You'll be going again soon.

258
00:14:52,661 --> 00:14:54,061
Sue, she is correct.

259
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,541
Sshh! You are a mother...

260
00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:57,861
of a daughter?

261
00:14:57,861 --> 00:14:59,181
No.

262
00:14:59,181 --> 00:15:01,301
Three sons? No.
<font color="

263
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,461
Two daughters? No.

264
00:15:02,461 --> 00:15:04,861
Who's Margaret? I don't know.

265
00:15:04,861 --> 00:15:06,821
Are we going to do this
for ten minutes?

266
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:13,861
I am sensing you're disappointed.

267
00:15:13,861 --> 00:15:15,941
Yes, I am.

268
00:15:15,941 --> 00:15:17,981
<font color="

269
00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:19,141
by life.

270
00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:24,021
Yeah, I guess, yeah.

271
00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:27,861
You weren't always like this.

272
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:30,181
No. Just the last few years.

273
00:15:31,381 --> 00:15:33,821
You used to be fun.

274
00:15:33,821 --> 00:15:35,421
I am fun. But are you?

275
00:15:35,421 --> 00:15:37,701
Yes, I am fun.
Tell her, Linda.

276
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,901
<font color="

277
00:15:43,821 --> 00:15:44,981
Sue is fun!

278
00:15:46,541 --> 00:15:48,941
Is this all part
of the 10 minutes? Yes.

279
00:15:48,941 --> 00:15:52,301
That's not fair,
you're charging us by the minute!

280
00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:56,221
We have been arguing
whether Sue is fun for 19 seconds.

281
00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:59,501
<font color="
Sshh! I'm getting something.

282
00:16:00,981 --> 00:16:03,261
It's a male energy.
Very dear to you.

283
00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:06,101
I can see a...car.

284
00:16:06,101 --> 00:16:07,501
And the colour...

285
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,021
..yellow.

286
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,341
My...Dave had a yellow Ford
when we first met.

287
00:16:19,341 --> 00:16:21,781
He says he'll send you a sign.

288
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,021
<font color="

289
00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:26,261
SHOUTS: What kind of sign?

290
00:16:29,181 --> 00:16:33,381
He said that's a great question,
and he needs time to think.

291
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,221
Is this part of the 10 minutes?

292
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,621
I can't make him think faster.

293
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:04,061
Doing anything fun this weekend?
I've got tickets to Hamilton.

294
00:17:04,061 --> 00:17:07,301
<font color="
we watch Strictly every...

295
00:17:07,301 --> 00:17:14,021
Sshh! He says you've lost something,
but don't worry, you'll find it.

296
00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:17,501
Sue, you have lost an earring.
Where will I find it?

297
00:17:17,501 --> 00:17:21,621
He says it will be
in the last place you look.

298
00:17:21,621 --> 00:17:23,661
<font color="
she looks.

299
00:17:23,661 --> 00:17:26,021
Sshh! He says...

300
00:17:27,941 --> 00:17:29,221
..let go of the past.

301
00:17:30,421 --> 00:17:35,461
Remember the happier times,
and try new things...

302
00:17:39,781 --> 00:17:45,141
..and open your heart
to life's wondrous possibilities.

303
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,781
Dave said "wondrous"?

304
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:52,861
<font color="

305
00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:57,661
Will you tell him I'm trying?

306
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,101
Of course.

307
00:18:01,421 --> 00:18:03,261
SHOUTS: She's trying!

308
00:18:04,621 --> 00:18:08,621
Oh, my God, is that
THE Michael Bevan?

309
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,861
Whoo! Sign my tits!

310
00:18:11,861 --> 00:18:15,621
Stop, stop...
How was sound-check?

311
00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:18,381
<font color="

312
00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:21,581
I met some of the other acts.
They're...

313
00:18:21,581 --> 00:18:22,981
..young.

314
00:18:22,981 --> 00:18:27,021
Well, I just wanted to give you
a good luck charm for tonight.

315
00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:29,901
Oh... Thank you.

316
00:18:32,221 --> 00:18:35,181
Wow, it's...beautiful.

317
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:39,261
This last week,
<font color="

318
00:18:39,261 --> 00:18:41,981
I've never seen you this excited
and enthusiastic.

319
00:18:41,981 --> 00:18:43,181
Really?

320
00:18:43,181 --> 00:18:47,101
I'm proud of you, performing
your own original material.

321
00:18:47,101 --> 00:18:49,541
It takes guts. Yeah, you're right.

322
00:18:49,541 --> 00:18:51,661
I don't know what
<font color="

323
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:53,581
I should've done this
so much sooner.

324
00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:55,141
Well, you're doing it now.

325
00:18:55,141 --> 00:18:57,421
You are making your dreams happen.

326
00:18:58,781 --> 00:19:00,541
Chris talks a lot
about that at training.

327
00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:04,341
Pursuing a career in music is a bit
harder than teaching martial arts.

328
00:19:04,341 --> 00:19:05,941
<font color="

329
00:19:05,941 --> 00:19:08,221
My dream is heaps harder
than Chris's dream.

330
00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:11,981
Michael, "Holding a grudge
is like drinking poison

331
00:19:11,981 --> 00:19:14,261
"and waiting for
the other person to die."

332
00:19:16,261 --> 00:19:17,781
That's is such a good quote.

333
00:19:18,781 --> 00:19:20,501
Who said that?

334
00:19:22,541 --> 00:19:24,141
<font color="

335
00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:29,221
Well, I should practise.

336
00:19:29,221 --> 00:19:30,981
OK, I'll leave you to it.

337
00:19:30,981 --> 00:19:33,621
Wait, aren't you going to put it on?

338
00:19:33,621 --> 00:19:34,661
Hm?

339
00:19:36,461 --> 00:19:38,941
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

340
00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:52,981
You look like Enrique Iglesias!

341
00:19:52,981 --> 00:19:54,021
Who?

342
00:19:54,021 --> 00:19:55,301
You look hot.

343
00:19:56,381 --> 00:19:58,341
I'll be watching you!

344
00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:00,661
<font color="

345
00:20:12,381 --> 00:20:14,501
Linda, do you believe
there's an afterlife?

346
00:20:14,501 --> 00:20:19,061
The existence of an afterlife is an
issue of belief, rather than proof.

347
00:20:19,061 --> 00:20:20,661
I got us free ice creams.

348
00:20:20,661 --> 00:20:23,461
Don't worry,
I've checked them for toenails.

349
00:20:23,461 --> 00:20:24,741
Linda, hold this.

350
00:20:27,341 --> 00:20:29,621
<font color="

351
00:20:29,621 --> 00:20:31,541
It's delicious!

352
00:20:31,541 --> 00:20:34,381
So, what did the fortune teller say?

353
00:20:34,381 --> 00:20:36,981
She said a lot of things.

354
00:20:36,981 --> 00:20:40,861
I think I just really wanted
some sort of sign from Dave.

355
00:20:40,861 --> 00:20:42,061
Yeah.

356
00:20:42,061 --> 00:20:44,341
Did she say anything
about sinkholes?

357
00:20:44,341 --> 00:20:48,661
<font color="
to keep trying new things,

358
00:20:48,661 --> 00:20:49,941
and be...

359
00:20:51,181 --> 00:20:52,621
..happy. Yeah.

360
00:20:52,621 --> 00:20:55,221
What about megaviruses?

361
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:59,141
She was also correct that
you are going to the optician soon.

362
00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:03,061
She say anything about
<font color="

363
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:06,501
Ooh! Sue, you just had
an adrenaline spike.

364
00:21:06,501 --> 00:21:08,981
You are afraid of rollercoasters.
Yes.

365
00:21:08,981 --> 00:21:10,381
Very. You should be.

366
00:21:10,381 --> 00:21:12,381
Have you ever been on one?
God, no!

367
00:21:12,381 --> 00:21:14,581
<font color="
They really are.

368
00:21:14,581 --> 00:21:19,061
The odds of being injured on
a rollercoaster are...one in...

369
00:21:19,061 --> 00:21:20,941
..24 million.

370
00:21:20,941 --> 00:21:22,101
Wow...

371
00:21:23,301 --> 00:21:27,261
Sue, this would be an opportunity
to try something new.

372
00:21:27,261 --> 00:21:28,301
And fun.

373
00:21:32,381 --> 00:21:36,301
<font color="
Boomers are pushing in.

374
00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:39,021
It's all right, I saved their place.
What are you on about?

375
00:21:39,021 --> 00:21:41,141
Here we go! Give over.

376
00:21:46,621 --> 00:21:47,701
Thank you.

377
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:49,781
Oh...

378
00:21:52,581 --> 00:21:55,141
I am proud of you, Sue.

379
00:21:55,141 --> 00:21:57,181
Are you having fun?

380
00:21:57,181 --> 00:21:58,661
<font color="

381
00:21:59,701 --> 00:22:00,981
Fun mode activated.

382
00:22:21,021 --> 00:22:23,861
Doesn't look like this can be
salvaged, though, does it?

383
00:22:23,861 --> 00:22:26,421
Do we now scatter Roxy
on raw sewage?

384
00:22:26,421 --> 00:22:28,701
No, Linda.
Do we throw her in the bin?

385
00:22:28,701 --> 00:22:31,261
There is a bin over there.
Linda, shush.

386
00:22:31,261 --> 00:22:33,301
<font color="

387
00:22:33,301 --> 00:22:35,501
Don't feel bad.
It's not your fault.

388
00:22:35,501 --> 00:22:38,461
The sign said it is the robot
owner's responsibility. Linda...

389
00:22:38,461 --> 00:22:41,301
There were signs everywhere...
Beautiful, mute!

390
00:22:41,301 --> 00:22:43,461
What if I die like Harry did?

391
00:22:43,461 --> 00:22:45,821
<font color="
who touches me.

392
00:22:45,821 --> 00:22:47,701
Oh... What is wrong with you?

393
00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:49,341
I don't mean like that!

394
00:22:49,341 --> 00:22:52,141
Well, I...I could touch you.

395
00:22:53,381 --> 00:22:54,581
Sometimes.

396
00:22:56,941 --> 00:22:59,341
Yeah, well, maybe not.

397
00:22:59,341 --> 00:23:04,381
Roxy knew exactly how I like my tea,
<font color="

398
00:23:04,381 --> 00:23:07,221
what time I like to be woken up,

399
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:09,261
my favourite Strictly judge...

400
00:23:09,261 --> 00:23:11,661
Shirley. No! Craig!

401
00:23:11,661 --> 00:23:17,141
He's brutal, but how else are
the dancers going to learn?

402
00:23:17,141 --> 00:23:20,021
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

403
00:23:17,141 --> 00:23:20,021
That was Slutguts!

404
00:23:20,021 --> 00:23:22,941
<font color="

405
00:23:22,941 --> 00:23:24,941
Ok, to close this section,
we've got

406
00:23:24,941 --> 00:23:26,661
an artist you'll definitely
recognise...

407
00:23:26,661 --> 00:23:27,861
from the till!

408
00:23:31,021 --> 00:23:33,421
One of Off The Scale's own,
Michael Bevan.

409
00:23:33,421 --> 00:23:37,741
What am I doing? I can't do this,
<font color="

410
00:23:37,741 --> 00:23:40,141
You're making your dreams come true.

411
00:23:40,141 --> 00:23:41,181
Now go.

412
00:23:42,581 --> 00:23:44,661
Michael Bevan.

413
00:23:42,581 --> 00:23:44,661
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

414
00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:49,981
Thank you... Thank you.

415
00:23:52,501 --> 00:23:54,141
One...

416
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:58,021
It's not easy being an artist. Um...

417
00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:02,541
You spend most of
<font color="

418
00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:06,421
And then there's this
technology replacing us,

419
00:24:06,421 --> 00:24:09,341
because it's faster and cheaper
to steal from humans.

420
00:24:09,341 --> 00:24:11,181
< Yeah!

421
00:24:09,341 --> 00:24:11,181
All right!

422
00:24:11,181 --> 00:24:13,501
I believe in people.

423
00:24:14,501 --> 00:24:18,061
I believe there are things
<font color="

424
00:24:18,061 --> 00:24:23,461
or stolen, or learnt by algorithms
for financial gain.

425
00:24:23,461 --> 00:24:25,701
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

426
00:24:25,701 --> 00:24:30,101
I wrote this song for someone...

427
00:24:30,101 --> 00:24:32,101
someone very special. Er...

428
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,701
My wife, Renee.

429
00:24:34,701 --> 00:24:36,581
You are the reason I do
what I do, babe.

430
00:24:39,701 --> 00:24:41,181
<font color="

431
00:24:41,181 --> 00:24:44,061
STARTS PLAYING

432
00:24:44,061 --> 00:24:46,781
And I want to dedicate this song
to anyone out there...

433
00:24:47,901 --> 00:24:48,941
..creating.

434
00:24:53,141 --> 00:24:57,221
This song...
This song came to me in fragments.

435
00:24:57,221 --> 00:25:02,861
And then...the fragments came
<font color="

436
00:25:06,541 --> 00:25:11,461
Sorry. Like the...
Like the memory of a dream...

437
00:25:16,621 --> 00:25:19,421

you needed the most?

438
00:25:22,781 --> 00:25:26,461

and the magic is lost...

439
00:25:27,501 --> 00:25:31,021
Keith, is that Bad Day
by Daniel Powter?

440
00:25:33,101 --> 00:25:36,381
<font color="
gone away

441
00:25:36,381 --> 00:25:41,061


442
00:25:41,061 --> 00:25:43,341


443
00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:45,181


444
00:25:45,181 --> 00:25:46,221


445
00:25:46,221 --> 00:25:49,341


446
00:25:49,341 --> 00:25:52,621
Look, I asked Linda for
an original song

447
00:25:52,621 --> 00:25:55,381
<font color="
an original song...

448
00:25:55,381 --> 00:25:56,981
By Daniel Powter.

449
00:25:58,541 --> 00:25:59,941
Yes.

450
00:25:59,941 --> 00:26:04,381
You're always banging on about
being bold and chasing your dreams.

451
00:26:04,381 --> 00:26:09,581
This last week, I realised...
I'm shit at this.

452
00:26:11,261 --> 00:26:15,461
Do you have any idea how
<font color="

453
00:26:15,461 --> 00:26:19,541
that you can't do the one thing
you've always wanted to do?

454
00:26:22,221 --> 00:26:24,181
No.

455
00:26:24,181 --> 00:26:27,901
I'll never play Wembley. I'm never
going to have a number one album.

456
00:26:29,301 --> 00:26:31,541
I'll never be good enough for you.

457
00:26:31,541 --> 00:26:32,581
Wait.

458
00:26:34,061 --> 00:26:36,221
So this was entirely about me?

459
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:38,381
<font color="

460
00:26:38,381 --> 00:26:40,101
And also me.

461
00:26:40,101 --> 00:26:42,421
That is really hot.

462
00:26:44,021 --> 00:26:45,941
You're not embarrassed?
No.

463
00:26:47,141 --> 00:26:50,301
I'm not. ROBOTIC VOICE: Here's one
I pretended to write earlier.

464
00:26:50,301 --> 00:26:53,741
LAUGHTER

465
00:26:50,301 --> 00:26:53,741
Good one, Keith!

466
00:26:53,741 --> 00:26:55,341
<font color="

467
00:26:55,341 --> 00:26:57,541
HAD A BAD DAY PLAYS

468
00:27:01,381 --> 00:27:03,101
Woo, Keith!

469
00:27:03,101 --> 00:27:05,621
Don't be so disgusting.
Sorry.

470
00:27:05,621 --> 00:27:07,981
He's amazing!
CHANTING: Keith, Keith, Keith!

471
00:27:09,941 --> 00:27:11,901
He's amazing!

472
00:27:11,901 --> 00:27:14,581
All right, love, I'll do that.
I will.

473
00:27:14,581 --> 00:27:16,781
<font color="

474
00:27:16,781 --> 00:27:18,141
Linda, it's Michael.

475
00:27:20,821 --> 00:27:22,821
Hello, Michael.

476
00:27:22,821 --> 00:27:24,301
Yes.

477
00:27:24,301 --> 00:27:27,221
Yes. I understand.

478
00:27:27,221 --> 00:27:29,941
I am a dipshit who cannot follow
basic instructions,

479
00:27:29,941 --> 00:27:31,701
and should be smelted for my metals.

480
00:27:31,701 --> 00:27:34,221
Goodnight, Michael!

481
00:27:34,221 --> 00:27:35,901
OK...

482
00:27:35,901 --> 00:27:37,861
<font color="

483
00:27:38,861 --> 00:27:45,221
Tom can purchase another Roxy,
the T68/700 is an affordable model.

484
00:27:45,221 --> 00:27:47,821
I think he might need
a bit more time.

485
00:27:47,821 --> 00:27:50,461
Humans, we get attached to things.

486
00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:53,141
That's why we find it so hard
to let go.

487
00:27:54,221 --> 00:27:57,581
<font color="
because you're never going to die.

488
00:27:57,581 --> 00:27:59,781
Yes, but I will never get
to taste ice cream.

489
00:27:59,781 --> 00:28:01,781
SUE CHUCKLES

490
00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:03,661
Goodnight, Linda.

491
00:28:03,661 --> 00:28:05,821
Goodnight, Sue.

492
00:28:05,821 --> 00:28:07,821
Don't forget to take your tablets.